What I want to know is how someone can go from being so motivated that they turn down pizza and sweets to eat sliced turkey instead, because they want to lose weight so bad it hurts, to not caring anymore in a matter of a month or two... I hate the weight... For many reasons. But I hate the way I feel when I fail miserably at goals I have set, and things I want to accomplish. It is too hard! I can't do it! I don't even want to try anymore! I wish I could be content with the way I look, because I feel helpless. Toby doesn't motivate me, NOTHING does! I can't motivate me... God doesn't help either. Trust me, I have prayed for victory over this, and guess what, it still hasn't come! I still can't stop overeating or make myself exercise! I hate myself for this! My weight is an outward evidence of my weakness, my selfishness, my anger, my pride, my vulnerability. I hate that! It proves that I am weak. It proves that I can't do it. I am out of control. I have discovered tho, that when I am upset or angry or frustrated, or tired, that is when I tend to overeat. When I am feeling pressured about it. When I am not feeling pressured about it... How am I supposed to get out of this, when nothing helps? At least not long term.